To the person whom I try not to face

Seems like it's been a whole year and more from the last time I touched this blog.
Seems like this post is dedicated to pouring out my feelings once again.
Seems like problems are always recurring.

I really don't know how to face you.

I know you never liked me as much
I know its just because of our relationship that there's this ounce of care that you're even showing
But guess what.
Me too.

Ever since that incident, I have stopped treating you like a loved one.
You're but a means to an end. If being nice to you guaranteed a life that can go on, I will do it with a cold heart.

I've thought of the finale so many times in my head. When I am standing by your deathbed, talking to you one last time.

Will I let all the things buried deep in me out?
Or will I let you die a peaceful death?

Now that you're not any means to anyone's end, I don't give a damn anymore.
Do you ever realise that it's always when you're around that we are always unhappy? Oh wait, you don't. You can't see how peacefully happy we are without you because you're not around.
Do you ever realise that you're the one who's making everyone unhappy? Giving everyone extra worries?
You're not indispensable. Anything that requires technical help can be gotten through a phone call. You're the sickness. The disease that spreads anger and depression to the people you pass by. Go back to your world. We were living life so peacefully and happily until you came back.

I can't wait for the day I am free of your plague. That day will come soon. Teddy come get me out of this mess