Why is this so?

原来大人的世界是那么的可怕的。。。 。。。
有时还查过分寸，变成幼稚了。
似乎比小孩子还幼稚， 因为大人懂事嘛，小孩什么都不知道。。。 。。。

And this is all i have to say: SIGH.

Maybe it is a primary instinct- an instinct that dates back to when we were only apes to cavemen. To inflict harm and pain on others that the tyranny of majority OR the higher authorities deem a pariah. Humans are so masochistic.

I used to listen to my dad or mum talk about their work every time they start on that topic. I used to think they were quite... childish. At least at my age during those time, I felt that the problems described can be solved really really easily. But as we grow up and develop our own characteristics, things become a little more complicated. So things cannot be solved the child way because people do not believe that will work. They must make sure pain was inflicted somewhere somehow befoer things can be settled.

I used to listen to my teachers talk politics/gossip/bitch about the school's system/ management/people etc. I used to think they were spices of life. Like how these things get the world moving and constantly changing to become better or 'better"- the ingredients to spice life up. But as I grow up and get to experience a stimulant real world, did I realize that these are the woes of every spice. These are gunshot piercing spices. So spicy that they are classed hazardous.

And this is the world I am going to enter.

What a bone chilling thought.
And today, i finally got a glimpse of the adult world. Just when I thought my stimulant world was getting too hard to handle, the adult world showed me even more. Is there really a need to do so? Just thinking about it makes me feel tired already. Can I not care about my stimulant world anymore? Or should I just get on with life and get ready for the adult world?

On a side note, thank you so so so so so much, on behalf of everyone. I feel sad for you, regardless whether you feel lousy and vexed or not. Maybe this is training for me to get ready. But really, being the backstage director of my stimulant world, I somewhat understand how grave these matters are. Hope your efforts are appreciated somehow...
But a thought to ponder, you tell us these because you want us to feel for you or you want this news to spread silently or you just want to let it all off?

SIGH. The higher the authority of a person, the more I have a feeling that whatever that person does is for a reason, no matter how shitty or how respectable the reasons are, it will most probably for their own good as well.
Th higher the authority of a person, the more reason for the person to be suspicious about many things.

I don't think I am ready for the adult world yet.