Love is in the air

I officially pronounce my love for Japanese anime characters. Seriously, they are like the best looking guys every in the whole world.

Kudos to Hayao Miyazaki for creating a few wonderful characters. Recently i've been rewatching Miyazaki's films, namely Princess Mononoke, Howl's Moving Castle and Spirited Away. AND the best thing is that they have all revived my love for Ashitaka, Howl and Haku. <3<3<3 Let me now in brief detail describe which parts in the shows are the best.

Of course with the guys around :D

Princess Mononoke:

I. AM. SO. IN. AWE. PERIOD. Really, the part where Ashitaka got shot but he still continued to carry Mononoke to the safety of her wolf mummy… But the sweetest part is when he was just lying there, hurt and unconscious on a small plot of land waiting for the deer god to heal and revive him. He was so cute there! Like lying around, just resting… gagagaga

Howl's Moving Castle:

There is nothing much I can say. I practically love every single moment Howl was around. No wait. I LOVE THE WHOLE MOVIE! HOWL…. HOWL!!! *howls* HOWL!!! *screams* haha okay… Yup, I remember the very first time i watched this film, I fell in love with him immediately cos he really is sooo cute! Had like this major crush on him since then. Never stopped liking him.

But if there really is a need for a favourite part, then I guess it's the last scene where he wears pink with white pants standing beside Sophie who was wearing a very pretty yellow dress at the starboard of their flying castle, KISSING EACH OTHER (: SOOO cute, and that charisma radiating out from him… Really… but I really love every single scene with him. It's SO hard to choose!!

Spirited Away:

Yet again, I practically love every single moment Haku (Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi aka God of the swift amber river) appeared. Liked him since the first time I watched this show. He's the cute dragon boy that helps Chihiro save her and her parents from being devoured by the spirits and gods. My favourite part was when Chihiro, riding on Haku in dragon form, remembers that Haku saved her from drowning when she was younger. She then told Haku his real name, and then he remembers it all, then his dragon form dissipated, showing his human form, and both of them fell (like free fall) and they held each others' hand, and they embrace… and they embrace.. and they embrace… and- anyway, and Chihiro starts crying, saying how grateful she is, and they embrace…… :D HAKU! such a dear!

Miyazaki is A GENIUS! Seriously, if it isn't for him, I'd never have known this three fabulous characters, and Joe Hisaishi would never have composed such beautiful music. AND YES, i officially announce too, that Hisaishi is now my most favourite composer. Below are some of his pieces that makes me cry easier than Brahms:

- Legend of Ashitaka from Princess Mononoke

- Merry go round of life from Howl's Moving Castle

- Laputa: Castle in the Sky from the same title as the piece

From spirited away,

- Dragon boy

- One Summer's Day

- Waltz of Chihiro

- Always with me

YUP. kudos to hisaishi too, for his works are just simply marvelous. Can't believe the first time i watched these films, i never took notice of the pieces!! Still, at least now I know, better than not knowing.

If only they could make mini series out of Howl's little family aka Howl, Sophie, Calcifer, Markl, Witch of the Waste and Heen, like the little things that happen every day, little arguments and such, like the tantrums of Howl or the days when Calcifer gets sick or even a date for sophie and howl… etc etc AND, of course, Haku and Chihiro… like how will they meet? In the human world or spirit world? What little things happen during their daily life? Can human and spirit be together? SOOO CUTE!! just thinking about them… but i really want haku and chihiro to be together… … … just like howl and sophie, where they live happily ever after :D

SIGH, now on to my dreams of howl and haku

HMmm

Been slacking away much lately with prelims only in the corner. Yes, I can see it coming. No wait. It is already here.

But anyway, this is a post specially for something else (:

I've been watching some shows recently and here's a post on what I really recommend!

1) Schemes of a Beauty (美人心计)- Of course, other than the fact that my dear 苗苗 is the emperor (and he was good in it too!), it tells of a very grandeur story in China's history. The characters are real AND the settings are good, of course, not to mention good acting and good scenery.

2) Glittering days (东方之珠)- This show is set in the old shanghai days… maybe a little later. The 50s and 60s when broadways and nightclubs are the soul of olden day China. The plot revolves around the lives of two singers who had to go through many obstacles… (read synopsis somewhere else online) Anyway, synopsis aside, I think Roger really pulled off his role well as a popular singer of that period, with his specially made hair (real hair! It was never a wig!) and the typical actions of singers then. Well, what can I say, he is a real comedy actor through and through. Of course there are better, but he is a very versatile and talented (not to mention cute) actor. Plus his ever so comedic actions AND his to-die-for smile………. <3

3) Reflection something misty rain… (烟雨斜阳)- There isn't really an English title to it. Anyway, the most important thing in this show is sammul's EYES. For 苗, it's really his to-die-for eyes… forever portraying a feeling, telling a story. There is no other actor that I have seen whose eyes can talk. This show is set in the old shanghai days. Like really the THAT period. The whole plot is rather gloomy, but it reflects very well the conditions of those days. Best of all is the acting of all the cast. It doesn't look as though they were acting the characters. It was as though they WERE the characters. Good plot, good acting. Of course, my sam (:

4) Chinese Paladin 3 (仙剑奇侠传3)- Well, it originates from a RPG game, what more can I say? The show itself attracted just too many audience and fans. Besides, with the star studded cast, and magnificent but complicated plot, it is a must watch. Speaking of the plot itself, everything is planned nicely. Seamless. Everything connects, unlike those of T_B whose shows always have abrupt change for the better so that the show can end.

5) Life made simple (阿旺新传)- Cast: Roger and Jessica. Needless to say, this couple's such good friends, they are virtually an unbreakable on-screen couple. Of course, partly due to this show where dear roger has to act as a simplistic guy (as his character says, "I am not stupid, just simple!"). Once again, I must praise Roger for being a superb actor. In this show, I was moved by Roger's character and his simple yet touching pure mind. Usually when I watch a show, I'll fast forward to where my idol appears just to watch him act, and read the story plot somewhere. Usually, I just want to see the actor. But in this show, Roger made me want to see his character. His character is forever thinking of others and forever doing things for others. He really moved me with everything that he (the character) did. Makes me wonder why we are all so greedy and selfish. Won't it be nice if I could be like him and live in my own bubble, free of all worries? sigh. Roger FTW

Yayness. the top five highly recommended shows to watch! Not in any order, but sorry if I sound biased my idols are in most of them. But in the first place, it is because of my idols that I watch these shows. Even so, some of these shows are really received with well reviews. Then of course, there are other shows that i'd recommend too, in brief:

- The Gentle Crackdown 秀才遇着兵- If you're bored, Moses will ensure you have a good laugh!

- D.I.E. & D.I.E. again 古灵精探& 古灵精探B- One of my favourite character, 于子郎. The cases are quite okay too, though definitely not as good as ICAC or Forensic Heroes etc.

- A bride for a ride 王老虎抢亲- SAM!!! (:

- Beyond the Realm of Conscience 宫心计- It was because of this that I started liking Moses. But the plot was quite good, definitely much better than many other T_B shows.

- Demi-gods Semi-devils 天龙八部 ( 林志颖 version)- Jimmy! his every so cute and bubbly face. But most importantly, it was a very grand production with great actors although the graphics couldn't really make it.

- Not Just a Pretty Face 美丽在望- De-stressing agent. I like the idea of this story although the plot is still quite predictable once we know what is happening. But the actors are good and again, brings joy into my life.

- The World's Finest 天下第一- Another one that makes you laugh. Mainly because of Roger. In this show, he has to fight most and at the same time think of ways to portray his witty and super comedic character well. And he did it!

- Season of Fate 五味人生- Quite a funny show again. Don't know why it didn't get the popularity it should have gotten, but it is a good show yet again with good actors.

- A pillow case of mystery 2 施公奇案 2- Like the story very much! Especially Johnson's character as the pillow god.

- The handsome siblings 绝世双交- I know there are many versions of this show, but really, the jimmy one is the one that rocked the world, not to mention light hearted and witty! Two at that. First the dads then the sons. But of course, the nicholas is good too!

Future shows (in production) that looks promising and I'll surely watch:

- 搜神记

-欢乐元帅

-东西宫略

that's it for now! Hope there'll be better shows to watch!

And hope by doing this i'll go back to studying

there it goes again

… and how am I supposed to tell her about my future plans?

Every time she's like that, i'll feel hurt too. Sigh, we all know they mean the best for us and stuff like that, but it never does works. While I don't have the naggy feeling of guilt, I still have some concern for her mental well-being.

I guess nothing can be done until this torturous 10 years have passed.

几有趣！

係，得卻是好難寫地。。。再加上用繁體字，真係難上加難！不過都幾 好玩的。單單係要寫底前過句，就已經站着大半個鐘！重有，有的字我都不知點寫，知道點話都冇麼用！

一定知道吧，我正係用廣東話打中文字！係好冇聊呱。唉，真希望我可以再去次香港！

That was really hard! Like seriously….. where are those words in mandarin pinyin!!! HEHE

Surges

Suddenly thought of all the things i failed in and this surge of feelings just came rushing by… now I can't sleep.

I know I must do well now… that everything is permanent, who won't want it to look good? Nothing can give me my PW grades back…

Sometimes, maybe crying is a good form of release after all…

Suddenly remembering the day everyone was so happy thanking god and teacher…. and I was there psycho-ing myself that it's alright… but such things… when missed by just that little decimal really create a deep crater in you heart. Every time I think of that, I'll just feel sad.

AND i don't want to feel this way… not something that makes me regret forever. So I must do well. Work really really really hard. Go. I believe I can.

Sigh… tmr's last day of exams…. bio paper… i should be sleeping well. but now I really feel like crying… maybe it'll help? Maybe then I'll be in a better mood tmr.

Woah

People actually read my blog? wow…

Anyway, to that dash-ey - - - person, friend or not, thanks for your comments, and yea I agree with you that until I can let go of my bitterness can I forgive and hopefully forget.

Thing is, I know clearly when I am likely to forgive. I can feel it. In fact I don't like this unforgiving side of me. But it's definitely not now. Not when I am still within the control of these things.

And that is precisely why I am ranting all on the blog. So that I don't feel that much pain in real life. So that I can release without hurting anyone. And no matter what, life has to move on. And there certainly are things that only one can solve by oneself. Just as i ever once heard someone say, if there is no other way to go around things, you'll have to do it yourself. Self help.

I guess its just me… there are people that I can be real to, but I can never put down the inner barrier in me. I just can't show people the worst side of me. I always…most often, rather, look happy and carefree to everyone. True, some friends know that I have been dealt with blows after blows, but they know I always take things by myself.

Which becomes what I am feeling now… come to think of it. BUT no, it's just not me to do that. They know I am hurt, but they just don't know what and how deep

SHOUT

I don't know… I really really really really want to tell someone everything! All my worries and all my disappointment and everything that is making me feel like breaking down…

But there is no one I can talk to about these… there are just things that cannot be said and it'd reflect real bad on me. There are just things that when said would spoil the whole image of what anyone has of me.

But I am in much pain. I really need some release, some way where I can tell someone who responds but does not then gain negative views about me… I think I require too much of a person. Thing is, I don't want people to see me as that.. that's why I am withholding everything. Keeping everything to myself

Then again, as I have always said, my problems are mine, and no one can help no matter what… so there is not much use telling anyone.

But all humans need some form of release… Let one come to me now!

hmmm

I know I shouldn't feel anything like sad that I am excluded or anything along this line since like in the FIRST place, I HATE that person…

Well that's because she hates me first… SO there is no reason why I want to be included in her list of official juniors even if officially, I AM her junior……

I guess it's just me isn't it? Hoping that she will acknowledge me the wild one as her junior so that I can resolve the hate? Then again why would she want to do that? Stupidness… She hates me too much to want to reconcile. In fact she's probably happier hating me for life or something… -.-

HOW i wish I can just name names here… but it'd be cyber bullying (for no one to see and she won't see in any circumstance at all) AND it'd not reflect nicely on me. Yea…

ANYWAY, today's talk was alright.. wished it was longer and more in depth though.. dang those restless juniors

Yet again

And then I find myself tearing away in front of the computer......
I really hate it. I hate it that it's all over and there is nothing I can do about it.

Hate it that there is nothing I can do to alleviate my soreness
Hate it that it is because of this that I feel my heartache all the time
Hate it that this thing ruined my life.

Then? Move on? I am. I did. But it isn't enough. Have I not complained to my friends? Have I not tried to suppress my feelings and try to let things go by since nothing can be altered? This really isn't something I can ever get over with...
Not with seeing all of the others getting what they want. It is of course reasonable for them to feel happy and celebrate.. and I know i am asking too much as a friend to ask them to not show it in front of me because they WONT be able to sympathise and I will always feel hurt and do my silent cries.

YES being in the comm is very important to me. YES I really want to be in. BUT SO? No matter how much of confessing now won't help. Even if I did say it then, it won't either. Because there is no such thing as democracy. In this world where everyone get things through being in good books and connections, that's just it. I was just unlucky to be that one person then. They hated me for that. What can I do? It isn't my fault that I because the one special person. But maybe if I had the foresight, things would be different.

I have learnt a lesson. If people want politically right answers and hypocrisy, I will give them what they want.

It's back.

I don't know how long it'll take for that feeling of disappointment and betrayal wool leave me for good. get a grp... The next comm is already out and I am still dwelling in the past. But then again, there are always things that will never be forgotten. Or forgiven at that. Maybe next year when I leave this place full of sad memories? But I guehss it is still a matter of whether I get what I want next year or not. Because if it really is because of this that I fail, I will never ever forgive.. Besides, I have already made a vow to never help them if they decide to enlist my help in any way. Even if my life is at stake, I will never ever do anything for them. Severed all ties. Smile for diplomacy.