丝竹琴韵

and it ended with taiyang.

yepp, putting aside all the fantastic comments i saw on google about this year's NYCO concert, i believed it was a great success, even bigger than 2 years ago.

I seem to remember, 2 years ago when i just joined nyco, feeling lost and scared (cos i was the only sec 1 with hazel), yet safe and assured cos everything was settled nicely, knowing that we were all ready for the concert a few months before. And regardless of what, it went very smoothly.

Come this year, 2 years since, things began looking hectic. Programme too long, costumes not settled, orchestral pieces not ready (to the extend of only starting a new piece less than a month before concert), tickets and poster designs, the lack of enthusiasm in juniors etc etc etc. and it goes on and on and on...
yet we all enjoyed it. Its the process that is what we will enjoy looking back few years down the road... the great times we spent practising, bonding, laughing and frustrated. Yea, this will be a special something stored in my memories forever~

There are a few people I want to thank or rather, acknowledge that in some way or another helped make this concert a great success:

Mrs Ee: for believing in the impossible (like *coughs* doing 2 concertos n playing all the hard pieces that COs seldom dare to), driving us to the limit and beyond, making sure we do our best and not hun, making us believe that we can make it in time. Most importantly, thanks for being strict and serious during dazus. Without that, we would not have improved so much as a whole CO. For personal, thanks for giving me this wonderful opportunity, which serves as a stepping stone for my musical journey. Thanks for allowing me to showcase my lousy talent, and giving me the drive to improve on my yangqin.

Chew Fei: for daring to take risks and driving us to our limits as well, doing both chinese n western perc, conducting section talks which allows us to help each other reflect and comment on room for improvements for each other.

NYCO: for making things possible and enjoyable for everyone. Without each and everyone of u, there would not have been an NYCO.

YQP: for giving me such enjoyable moments, for giving me the drive to improve on my skills, for allowing me to have different experiences and emotions, for believing that we can make it and bond as a whole section, for standing together, for our courage. Thanks for the fun times we shared. Thanks for your never-ending support, esp during my solo :P hahaha, i'd like to see u guys dance! Thanks so much for the encouraging words u guys said just before i went on stage. Without these words, i would have felt rlly empty and alone, and the emotions would not have been portrayed out in my solo as the way i wanted it to so nicely. Thanks for helping me out, esp the mallets thing and scores n qinzhus n every little logistics that was needed to be done, yet i forget or was to freaked out to remember. Love you guys~ <3

nygh runners n AVA club: Thanks for being there, despite block tests being 3 days away. If not for your vigourous training to move things in lightning speed, there would be shortage of seats and too much comsumed time, and audiences would not have liked it. Thanks for the support you gave us, for without u guys, we would not have played well too.

Audiences: thanks for taking your precious time away to attend this concert. Without u guys, the concert would have been stage for naught. U made a lot of different. Thanks for coming to appreciate the music we had offered, hope u had an enjoyable evening.

GECO: thanks for lending me the shou gu, or i'd have completely screwed up sha dier. And of cos, for supporting our members, making us feel proud of ourselves. Hope u guys had a wonderful evening too!

My family: for giving me your full support since the day i decided to take the untaken road, the music side (i know sports run in our family) and giving me constructive comments when i practise at home. Thanks for allowing me to fufil my dreams and getting responses that i liked. Thanks for helping me out when i most needed them. Without u guys, there would not have been this memorable day for me.

GECO percussion: Thanks for givign me the drive to hone my percussion skills. Thou there are only a pathetic number of 5 frequent official members, i'd like to say that u guys (yea, all male, weird) made me feel homely about ge. Not to mention that u guys supported me full-heartedly too, esp for this concert. It feels wonderful, being with u guys ,feeling so bonded and all. In fact, it must be our size that made it so fast n easy to bond together (but u still come in 2nd aftr yqp <3) thanks for fully accepting me. I was afraid u guys wont, esp when i m the only girl. love you guys too! <3

Oh and of course, the are some people i would like to mention specially:
Yuka: for helping me get changed into my costume so many times as quick as possible. I couldn't imagine how i would have fared if u weren't there.

wei lao shi: (thou u cant read english) for your guidance and advices on my solo item, helping me improve and such.

julian: thanks for specially going down to bradell(gosh is this how u spell it?!) all the way frm the east :( and waiting for almost 1 hour (thou u deserve it ok!) for me and then to my house to help me with the tons of instruments i had to bring to school. Thanks for going all the way to nygh with me. Thanks for helping me out with the shou gu (that particualr ge session :P) and the lending of gu chuis. I promise i'll find it back for u! or buy a new one :P haha. Thanks for all the encouraging words u showered me with from long before the concert till now, even after the concert.Thanks for believing in us, yqp, and giving us support in anyway you can, from helping us with longteng (such long times) and giving us encouragements by the things u did for us. We really appriciate it very very much. Thou not obvious, but u did affect us in some way. Thakns for being the best brother i'd ever had.

Lim qing: for lending me your jacket- i completely forgot to bring mine! shit! haha

To everyone else and those that i forget to mention and thsoe that i mentioned , THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.

We must wait until the other appears.

what a day...
sucked into my own world of believing and madness...
yupp, that's me, being so enthu about everything, helping ppl so muc hwhen i don't need to,
caring too much about others...

and what about me?
did u rlly think u care about others too much more than yourself? then what about me? WHAT about me?
i care too much about others to even care if i pass or fail, tired or not... i think i care too much about hurting other people's feelings.

What in the world is wrong? i shold stop being so concern about people around me...

i took a step, and that sensation gushed into my whole body,
falling into an abyss,
deeper and deeper and deeper...
and suddenly the seemingly never ending abyss turned into sea of sponges,
and you were there with your arms wide open, catching me where i fall...

...you are the end of that abyss, and i've fallen nicely into it, not struggling to get out at all...
it's all too comfortable.

just read thru some ppl's blog posts from their day 1... it's just 3 years, and yet we've grown so much... what was a simple and close friendship turned so complicated, yet everything turns out fine after all... which comes to the point that all things go in circles. It's yet another cycle... waiting to turn jsut one more round, but our hands, held together, is stopping it.

what's wrong with me?! semi-emo-ing again... perhaps its the today thing that's causing it?
and yet, i m waiting again.

Dedications

to my dearest brother :)

I am really quite fond of you now, coming to finally understand the feeling in my heart for the past few weeks (which i'd have told you sometime ago). For the past few weeks, there was always this strange unfamiliar sense residing in my heart, making me very confused, and thus the semi-emo-ing days.

So i went through each person that i know, at the same time relating that name to the feeling. Most of them did not have any reaction, but yea, it was yours alright. I wasn't sure what on earth that feeling was, bugging me, making me feel happy yet sad at the same time. The strongest time i felt that was on the 1st day of camp though... and i couldn't control it... so i went to the toilet and let it all out. Thankfully no one was there :P

(this is gg to sound wrong...) you were always so cheerful, brightening things up and everything, truthful about your weakness and yet not disregarding it. You are quite humble and motivational indeed. Encouraging would be a nicer word :)

It was only until that Saturday aftrnn outing that i finally understand what i have always not get. Things that i did and thought of for and about you were somewhat the same as how i'd treated my sister... in a little different way. That was when i realised that all the while, i do care for your well-being (which is a should as part of the percussion section welfare :D) like how i care for my sister too. What are siblings for anyway!

Thank you dearest brother once again, for giving me such joy and experience which i could relate to in the future.
Thank you, everyone and thing which made this possible to happen.

I don't have the gist of writing and depicting my feelings and mood clearly on words. I ain't one who's good with words. So, in any case, this is the primary feeling. The others are hard to express in words. Or its just that i can't seem to find the right words. (my vocab is extremely limited)

i m contemplating whether to post this or not...

luurrrb euuuu

(:
sister bonding times are strangely fun and totally cool.

had some family bonding time too, ytd b4 gg out. took out the shou gu to prac abit, n started bragging abt how hard it is etc etc (haha ;P) n mum ask me to teach my granddad grandmum. yea, while doing that ,my mind was processing it in another angle ,like those movies thinggem, reflecting on past happy memories, n tat emo music thing... haha

jus felt that it was quite cool, i totally enjoyed tat as well
i know ppl'll think i m weird/ super lucky, but i do hav family probs too. everyone has them. its just the degree of dysfunctionalisation... if there's such word.
as much as i hate my family, i love them too. after all, who can i go to in times of need?

Me?

whoops, this is bad. B-A-D.
i m actually itching to blog again, after successfully restric myself frm blogging anymore.
Must be someone's infouence.
wonder who...

anyway, watching 我太太是流氓2, at the same time Whose line is it anyway?... its like a while fighting, a while funny.. so weird! hahaha.

shall get on with watching my shows now (:

Touched

Just came back from a concert by my sis's school... for their 75th anniversary.
The children looked so cute! When the youngests of those came out with table tennis bats, my tears couldn't hold it any longer.

I had no idea what drove me to that, but, i seem to feel so much emotions for them, dancing... dancing... dancing... Oh how innocent they looked, as i stared at them for a seemingly long time..............................................before the stage cleared.
Ah, what i'd do to get the chance to go back to my primary school days when i don't worry about so much things (and there's gg to be more each year as i grow).
Carefree.
No chance to regret it now.

Morbid? at this age, i shld be yearning for adulthood or sth, like what everyone does... Nope, my heart stays with the bouncy scuttlers that are filling up the stage in UCC, filling up the stage in my heart, giving a show to just me. Alone.

And I cried again. Just felt touched by the children... flinging their arms senselessly as their teacher wants to, yet enjoying all the time, smiling and smiling, true from the heart.

A forced smile...

You said that last night.

Oh man, i m seriously not doing this again?! at almost 1 am in the morning, and blogging when i m supposed to be slping.
shucks... tchr wants to listen to my solo tmr.. *DIES*

hm, i wonder why nowadays when i am alone, i tend to think of things i constantly remind myself not to. Then i'll start emo-ing in my heart, but show nothing at all on the outside. WEIRD. wendy, get a grip on yourself.

hey dude! (yes, directed at someone, despite the last post -.-) i'm still on abt being a child psychologist aft.. 7mths ok... n u were saying the thought'll die out soon. Though now its not psychologist i want. its PSYCHIARTRIST.
yepp, psychologist who prescribes medicine.





i feel this way everytime i think of you... why?
it's so different from the rest, despite myself saying over and over again that it is impossible...
get out of my life! to save the both of us...
before its too late for me...

Do you care for me?

Whew

a long time had elapsed since i last posted. perhaps thats all for the best. I don't know what to blog about anyway... not to mention that i do have a wordpress n a few more blog links...

yea, its smack in the middle of the night, and i m chiong-ing trigo, at the same time reading ppl's blogs. n sms-ing. SUPER UNHEALTHY. what can I do anyway... welcome to my life.

had NYCO prac today, was lin lao's dazu... SHA DI ER n MENG ZHI BALI~ both are super nice, but i happen to be on the weird side of it.
plays weird instruments for both pieces, and apparently, my juniors (frm other section) thinks they're damn COOL- sure.
They won't say that if they're the ones playing a shou gu till their hands get damn red n pain or slapping paigus with conga sticks cos congas are non-existence in CO. sure.

i know, must be wondering why the psot title...

Do you care for me?

Not directing at anyone. Seriously. I have the impression that if a sentence is directed to someone, everyone who reads it will think it's them. It must be true. Or it's just me. So don't think I am directing it to anyone.

*wow... my mum just spelt chaos with a K* grins... silly old mum <3

ok, so the hustle and bustle of holidays are over. GOOD
UK trip was cool. what could I say about it. Seriously, if u r planning to see me blog abt UK trip, then u can sit in front of the comp for a few thousand more years. it'll appear soon enough.
MOE CO CAMP was quite fun. *still have the songs stuck in my head!!!* Loved the last day the most.

i have so given up on maths now. NO MORE TRIGO.

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just thinking of some things...
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have you ever had a sense of elation yet sorrow at the same time?
that you are happy to see a person happy, even if it makes you sad?
and you always want to keep that person in sight for as long as you can?
to hold the moment of being together longer so that you can enjoy it more?
that is love, my dear, love.

I am feeling a strong ense o emotinal outburst right now.
No idea why.
Must be sme particular emails i just read.

just want to say that I am who I am.
When thee is something that I disagree to, I won't make a comment or show it.
But when i strongly disagree to something, i will definitely express it out, like a new point of view thing to the whole something. Still, i won't make it look as though i strongly disagree to it. So when i ever do mke these coments, you know i really am against the idea.

Straight face. no smiles.

OBS

was not a really good ahem, camp.

like firstly, it was raining (HEAVY DOWNPOUR) all day throughout the whole week. Which means doing everything in the rain, including trekking and kayaking. Now, I won't go through the trouble of writing everything down. You'll know it anyway, or you'll know soon.

yay, today's monday! and i'd have done so many things - bought my nice white heels, white dresses, finished transcribing for my mum- I FEEL ACCOMPLISHED! hahahahahaha
and wheee
don't you see the radiant smile hanging on my face?! my dad's got a tablet PC for me :) joyous occasion (: hp, it's personal. AND not forgetting my new mini mp4 player

wahahaha i feel so happy. And i am still thinking of the UK trip (yesh yesh yesh)

am i...? yes...
don't think i am going to forgive you so easily yet.
These things cannot be done exaggeratedly too much.
Laugh about it once, twice, thrice...
Do you think this can go on forever?
Do you think I can stand this forever?
Do you think you can always stay insensitive forever?
Grow up.

I am still the cheerful bubbly person