This whole week

My life as summarized:

Daily routine:
12-2pm: wake up and take lunch
2-6 pm: do miscellanous stuff like watch drama and settle my daily needs.
7- 11pm: ge practice
11 til the time I sleep: watch drama and play my iPod.

Great life eh...

Tonight

Tonight, two hearts were broken.

Time is never an understandable measurement. It can never be grasp, and it will never be caught. No one can ever tell when the right time has come, or when that golden period has left. Time is like air. It is intangible, it follows you wherever you go. But without it, you will never exist. That small miss in time broke the heart of love. That heart has been broken before. It had been stitched back needle by needle, thread by thread before. But wounds are forever wounds. It may have seemed healed, but it is never the same. But this time, God is there to cover the hole in that heart. That heart knows what is coming. It is anticipating. It has successfully manipulated time.

Tonight, the other heart that was broken was the heart that shows you what you truly want and what you truly are. The heart that never lies. The heart of dreams. The heart that lies subconsciously in your subconscious, supporting you quietly. It is a heart that breaks without telling until you feel it. It is the heart that breaks without pain; the heart that breaks without physically emotional pain.

Tonight, two hearts were broken. But none was hurt.

End of the world?

Sigh... sometimes being a big shot is worth it after all...
True, people say these are just entertainment and have not much value. Yea, entertainment. Ultimately these stars are providing us with service. The lowest at that. But then why do we pay so much for the,? Is it not true that they easily earn millions? Not that i am being materialistic, but money does get life going to a large extend. There is of course no need for such frivolous means, but then again, this is a lowly entertainment. They don't need to have brains to be there. All they need is the looks.

When i was young, my mum always said that i must study hard and get a degree, then my life will be safe and secure. But what is the use of having such a big brain stuffed with chimology when the no brainers get the catch? Everyone says having a god qualification will earn you your way to bliss. But the bare truth is always the opposite.

To each with their own talents.

HEHE

To that special someone far far away, happy belated birthday! hope you had fun yesterday

These few days been real cool, but life's gonna get busy again.

Gosh... i have really nothing to post......

Boredom

It is always at times like this that gets me wondering whether I had friends or not. It's not like I don't but how bout those who truly knows me? Those that I can call on during such times of boredom? I know everyone will say like oh, it's good to have many friends, but just have a couple of close ones will do.. Them is over our two really enough? not that I am greedy, but when these couple of friends have they own things to be busy with, you are then left alone at home watching senseless dramas after dramas, sleeping after eating..how much fun can life get?

Goodbye and see you soon!

today in the cab en route to the airport, one of my friend suddenly said that she felt a surge of emotions coming towards her. It is the emotion welling inside many people when it comes to parting. And airport is just the right place to provide the perfect environment for such emotions.

I told her, that with parting comes reunion. Yesterday we welcomed a new person into singapore. Today we send off a friend that we hold dear, a friend who has done so much for us without wanting anything back in return. For the mere fact that watching us learn and enjoy is in itself giving back already. For me, our friendship had been a short one as compared to many others that were present, but in this short few years, you have taught me and guided me a lot. It is with the utmost respect I have for you that i wish you well in the future. And of course I do hope that I will not be forgotten anytime soon. Bon voyage!

And to the next parting this saturday.......

Happy as a bird

OMG OMG OMG! this is my happiest day of the year!
dad just got me my long awaited hp GALAXY S and macbook (: with a free ipod touch... which i shall give my sis cos i have one alr and its 32GB compared to that 8 GB one (:

But of course, i am not such a materialistic person. Today's a happy day because I have made a new friend cum teacher. I know some people's first impression of her is that she's a bitch... but she's actually quite nice. And young (10 years older than me!). And damn zai in yq. DUH to be the only one who can get into sco. (: a happy reunion for her and wei lao... she's ma huan by the way. Horse happy (direct translation). At least she's on our side (: To ma huan, hope you will find Singapore a generally nice place to be in. As experience show, after your first few years here, u'll be different in you approach to teaching and work. Hope you'll be able to cope and le your passion stay on as long as you can grasp. May you find your happiness here as well!

Gave a farewell supper for moses ytd at newton circus food centre- btw, he's gg to china for further studies as well. Good luck for all your endeavours and may we keep in touch! Today's little dinner was not only to be introduced to a new friend. Today's dinner is a farewell dinner as well, for our beloved yi qing who's flying off next saturday to manchester! Good luck to you too, and keep in touch! Hope you do well in UK for many years to come! And we'll set up a jeremy fund to send him over there :P

And now to worry about a friend's future that looks rather gloomy. No it's actually a dead end. Plus I must start to wrry about my own future....... so many directions, so many choices, so little ability, so little certainty...... life is really like a roller coaster. Hope all goes well

Next week!

Please my dearest friends, stop making me so jumpy and anxious all the time... I know i might not be a good organiser and I might not be that conscious of time management and our little crisis, but I do try. I try my best. And I hope you guys will chip in as well. As what people say, lose with dignity.

I must ace math i must ace math i must ace math
gosh who am i kidding man!

sometimes i wish i am back to the old days when i just have fun... kindergarten were the best days, though i can't remember much. But i remember being the happiest then............

is it not strange how some decisions can open up such different paths? If I hadn't signed up for CO without knowing i did, I wouldn't have known so many great friends that are musicians I respect so much. If my mum hadn't insisted that I tried out for NY, I wouldn't have known such great friends existed. If I hadn't somehow became my teacher's favourite student, so many fishcakes wouldn't have happened, and I'd have been a happier person than now.

The twist of events, the turn of fate.
A food for thought. My teacher recently asked me two questions.

Are you sad with life as it is now?

I didn't know how to answer, and he changed the question

Are you happy with life as it is now?

I said that I ain't.

I laugh

Being a WCV host is awsome (:
1. You get to see hotties walking around
2. You get to take pictures with them
3. You get to hug (or they hug you) them while taking pictures
4. You get to talk and interact with them (:
5. You get to SKIP SCHOOL like anytime you want.... which i don't because I am a nice girl :P

Yay! so much fun! I take back my words of the past about not wanting to be involved! HAHA Ethan must be smiling so widely now....
____________________________________________________________

To the next topic,

i still haven't gotten over that yet....... bunch of political fishcakers. I have thought about it though, if these new batch of people chosen out of favouritism falls apart, I LAUGH.
Sometimes then, just to console myself, i'd say that i'm so thankful i'm not thrown in with this lot of people... one unique leader with opposing viewpoints to the rest of the team members.... wonder what show they'll put up.

Hope I can be contented with the position I have now... though not the best, but definitely something that can let me consider my future path. I should really get the top position... since i am the one considering this path not you. Sorry for saying that.

The world is full of unjustness... and i thought the unfair side will never happen to me. But as the saying goes, ignore the others and be yourself. The reason why they try to ostracize you is because you are better than them and they are jealous.
___________________________________________________________

YOG

OMG
YOG opening ceremony was a blast! So participating in YOG is afterall a great experience (:
Totally love the whole effect and all that standing only a few metres in front of pyros experience on the rings!

The flame was just cool man! This will stay in my memories forever...... (:

Whew! now those rehearsals and the whole opening is over, it's time for me to MUG! and interact with atheletes on the last few days (: at WCV (:(:

P.S. AHHHH ang mo atheletes are SOOOOOO hot!! and i took pics with them <3 <3

YOG

the irony of life

shallow people are aplenty. Not saying any of you have depth, but i never knew you guys were THAT shallow either.

So i have flawed leadership skills eh...
have you guys never at all actually understood what was going on between QQ and I?
Have you guys never seen how it is not possible for me to do much anyway?

How do you guys know in the first place? Rumours? Shallow.

Or is it through other means like some external organisations?
Then you have seen wrong. You have failed to grasp the fact that the team i man has never needed a head. It's very mutual. I am just there to organize things up. We are self-governed. Not like your monkeys, if that is what you imply when you say that i don't do much.

All in all, it isn't really such lame excuses isn't it? It's really just how unjust you feel. One because I have too much freedom while everyone else doesn't. The other because if not for everyone else, you won't have that glorious moment on 6/6/10. That person would be me. Isn't it?

It's okay though, I will make your heart feel the unrest. If there is anything that I can do to make your efforts go to waste, to make you feel that slight "oh darn" feeling, to show you that I am not that easily defeatable, I will definitely do it.

One last qn to another someone: Do you actually believe in all that bullshit that they say? Over what you may know of me?
Oh I don't know you at all!

World Cup fever

WORLD CUP is coming to an end soon
and before long, promos are here.

GO SPAIN GO! GO SPAIN GO!

hope spain wins this time.

And to those out there, stop trying to hide it... it's really obvious the way you guys act...... only baby can't tell what you are doing. If you think it's going to hurt me, congratulations, better slow than never. But trying to cover up doesn't mean you won't hurt me. THE DAMAGE IS DONE..... nothing you can do about it.
I know many others probably have gotten over it. But here I am admitting that i am still very bothered about it. And you ask why. Because it is not because I lost to anyone. It's because I lost to stupid judgement. What happened to not judging a book by it's cover? Oh right, it only exists in talks and books.

Anyway, I don't care. As I have said already, I will still get most of what I want.

Shit i wish to slap some people.

GO SPAIN GO. the dream team (:

Pols polls pol

Sighs a big sigh

I don't know, everyone must be dying to know how i am feeling right now.....
guess pols just can't leave me even though i have tried so hard to avoid them.
Not that no one knows who and how I really am.

All i can say is, sometimes, having a big mountain behind may not necessarily be good.

I'm fine. All fine. Just not pleased with the process..... is it not blatant enough already? Why the need to come up with stories that no one will buy?

Let nature take its course, we all say. Yet, things will surely change no matter what. Everyone can see that easily. What will happen will happen despite some efforts to prevent at all cost. No use.

World cup is getting interesting afterall. But at the rate things are going, if the hot favourites don't get into knockout stage, i will definitely lose interest. GO BRAZIL, SPAIN and GERMANY!! Don't let me down~

Doesn't this just show how much i mind punctuality and teamwork? Doesn't it just show that I am capable and initiative? Sigh, why am i so 不争气... always caring for others before myself as usual...
get a grip. It's not the end of the world.

But seeing my immediate future now, I have no idea how I am going to survive this year.... so many things to settle, so little time. Such lousy time management.

Then again at times, the only people you can turn to are always your families. Treasure them before you regret. And remember to remind yourself about that. Trust me, this is the 2nd time i learn the same lesson.

No more brooding. And to those who even read this blog of mine, please don't talk to me about it anymore. Unless a miracle appears like the everyone starts to protest and insist that I be in too, go away.

se7en..... only i look alot older

Two thumbs up for the curious case of benjamin button!

It's yet another one of those movies that one will never be tired of watching. Every time I watch it, there is always new takeaways. I love these kind of movies- so heartwarming!

Two thumbs up for Brad Pitt's wonderful acting and his forever so hot wholesomeness...

(:

Okay study math

Today

No matter how late i will have to stay up to finish studying for math class test tmr and also finishing econs tutorial, i must do this now.

Today, I feel humane again. Today, I cleansed my soul. Today, I was touched. It's not that I am going to grumble about why is life so unfair.

Where big supermarkets sell their goods at such high prices, earning money by the bulk, vagabonds are milling around in nooks and creaks, standing strong for their survival, selling their goods at such low prices, people wonder they actually do earn at all.
Then what is economics for... yet i guess, one is an exception, that's why in the real world, ceteris paribus does not exist. But there are so many of these one persons scattered all around this small red dot. And heck, he is BLIND.

It's really not about what the goods are. It's that strand of hope hanging there that I see, fighting for survival, withstanding heat and humidity.
SO to people who complain about not having aircon for just one minute, shame on you.
It's that determination to work for what little he can earn that touched me. It is that insistent character in him to return changes despite the fact that we as customers deliberately want to give him more. That integrity, that honesty...... That frustration i see in him standing and sitting, fumbling restlessly, perpetually holding on to that pathetic bag of tissues, with that same old and yellowed ziplock bag containing all the medication like Vicks... and that same old bag that used to contain all the delightful buscuits... and all that is left now is a bagful of mentos... before one kind soul walk past and buy just that small pack of tissue.
just because nobody gave a thought about buying those things....... well at least he'd have survived after all these years. Since the first time i saw him there- 5 years ago already. Goodness knows how long he had been there.

And then he is so polite. As compared to the aunty who sold me mentos a few hours ago at $1, he spoke to me like I am a customer buying Prada. For $0.80 at that.

I guess i am still cowardly... I stood there for a long long time, across the long aisle, waiting for the time nobody was there. Then i approached him. Although $4 may not seem like a lot, and it's probably half a meal for us, it means alot to him. And i am glad I was able to help him pull through another day.

Damn the world.

Oh there is just so much we can learn from these people.

Blast!

Today's JTS was quite cool! love the hilarious seniors (:
Hope all the food were gone!

i realised i should post now as the post before this is a little bit dirty for the eyes.... SIGH......... tons of work to do and econs lecture test tmr... DIES.

I think i still haven't crossed my heart barrier. Going will still be a drag as long as I don't cross that barrier- a wall more likely... It's really not you. It's about me now. And when a heart barrier gets built, it is really really hard for me to blast it down... since heart barriers are so rare. And now there are 2. How cool -.- the last one that ended took at least 2 years. Wonder how long this will be.

I don't think u even know that I am avoiding you...................................SIGH someone save me?

A load of expletives

What can I say... Out of the mere fact that u r related to me, I will not shout out that whole lot to u. But that doesnt mean I will not get back at you for doing that to me.

Sometimes adults just don't understand technology. Or at least they forgot that a person who is near 20 can fully understand what is supposedly called " adult language"

Fuck you.

I know...

I can see that distress in your eyes. Always lingering there whenever your eyes travel to that painful spot just above my shoulders.

But u have got to relax. It isn't my fault that I got it. Neither is it your fault. And I am not as badly hit as you perceived me to be... So u don't be too.....

This is part and parcel of life. There isn't any denial in that... Life is never fair. The cleverest person looks as pretty as a toad and the httest person probably has brains the size of peanuts.
What matters most is whether I take it to heart or not, whether I care about what Thera think of me or not, whether i live life as I want it, to the fullest or not.

I know your concern for me about the future is really causig you sleepless nights. But as I have said, whoever who loves me will accept my everythig including this little thing.

For your everlasting awesomness, I salute you.

Yo Ho Yo Ho

hehehehehehehe... today was a good day!

Breakfast + Lunch + Dinner = Brunchner = <3

It's buffet! What can u expect!

Johnny Depp pwns. This holidays's been a rather exciting adventure for me (: In my imagination, that is. Watching movies after movies in my head, swishing and ducking... aye aye aye.

To become a lucid dreamer..
well there's no need.. i'm one (:

days are passing by

For my fellow friends out there who are feeling as depressed and sad as I am now over school work or some school setbacks/rejections, here are some tips for the destresserinyou!

PLAY the piano! Or something that can let the feeling out.

And then tell someone.

A while ago when we were going for a lesson discussing intensely about something, some one commented that we are damn close (: which is a good thing isn't it!

Well, at least I had some privacy... at least they didn't know.. that's one thing i can be grateful for out of this mess...

haze.......

those memories again......

HBL is quite a waste of time. And the content's quite crap. CRAP.

Life's back to norm i guess... which is a good thing. So far so good, life as it is, only thing that's short is the cash i should have gotten :( haha shall go and zui zai huan zai (:

meantime, econs and pw hbl sucks! Like how to do man!

Ahh

4 nights straight of performance, 2 times a day from monday to thursday............ like machine like that... where got time to do all the homework!! *dies*

"if you can survive 2 weeks in JC, you can survive 4 years in ny"

haha i like that sentence (:

Ouch! it's hurting like never before! What's happening? May miracles really happen.

Life is so __________ now. And mum's just dragged me to buy assessment books already. Please lor! i'm like one of the more mugger person in my class for these 2 weeks lo! :O surprising eh! hahahahahahha

THE MUGGER IN ME!

Ahhhhh

No one understands how I really feel...
No one understands how much pain I have to endure every single time...
No one understands the loneliness I feel on this long journey...
And no one tries to elevate me from my dampened feelings all the time

So much for emo-ing... well, that's how I felt a few days ago, and now, HAPPY CNY! I hope everyone gets many red packets (: while i rot in my house wishing i could go red packet collecting too.

Okay, 2 more days of fun, and the mugger in me will come out! TRUST ME! hahahahahahahahaha nights people!

TGIF!

Hehehe.... today's a tired day....

Which smartass decided to make school start at 1pm?! when the sun is high up in the sky aiming cancerous rays at us? Tsk

Shostakovich symphony 5! <3 <3 <3 not as much as brahms though... my lovely brahms hehe.

Oh gosh... i thought of so much to type down here, and then the moment i signed in, i forgot! WOW.

I can sense the mess my future will get. *dies dies*

So for the moment i shall publish this until i remember what i want to post.

Ponders

I THINK...... that i think too much. SERIOUSLY

Like just now when I was strolling my way home, i started to think strange things like
- whales probably have never and will never see an ant in their whole lives
- Ants know that there are larger living things than them right?
And so on so forth.

Got a nail-clipper-can-opener today. Cool! Just the thing i want!

Today's CCA was fruitful to some extend... though we didn't manage to address every issue. Ah well, what gives!

Okay I should be doing some work now.

Gods! HCCO prac will be till 7pm every mons and weds!

There is hope!

And all went well during VCH site recce! Everything was settled in sliiiiightly more than an hour... (:

Looking forward to tmr... Seoul Garden with 6c '05! Hehe... hope we will K.I.T. for many more years to come!

Pffffft... and tmr i am going to tune a future-student-to-be's yangqin for a mere $40... Speaking of which, my own yangqin is in so terribly in tune :P Oh speaking of irony......... but seriuosly, if i don't take students, there's no point in tuning my own yq SINCE i don't really care. It's not in public, who cares! haha (AND THEN i'll regret it later when i need it for public uses in months to come -.- But right now, i don't give any hoots~)

I have just found more ways of DE-stressing!
- REREAD your blog! It works well for me... at least because most of my blog posts are quite meaningful~
- Bitch. Yes seriously. Let out your frustrations to someone whom you can trust.
- Go shopping! Find people you like to hang out with! Preferably very close ones or just one... and do the "Bitch." as well
- PLAY MAHJONG!! yep! this is my favourite! (:

Pah! My mum just boughtParrot botanicals brand bar soap to use as cupboard fragrance. Yes, she loves that smell. But it smells like soap!! pffffffft!

Me ish hungrysh... shall goesh and get shome light food (:

It's a new world

Yepp! And tomorrow is a new day for a not so new person!
Tmr is the start of my JC life... which according to many people, it's gonna suck much and rock little.. WHICH makes the rocking part all the more enjoyable (:

There are only a few things on my mind now...
1) I have no expectations
2) Sheesh i have to take chinese this year...
3) I hope all will be well

Went to the petrol station today and the cashier gave me 3 packs of ang paos... like I need any at all..... pffft, here's one new year gone to waste! At least I will get to play mahjong the whole of valentine's day! The only thing to look forward to this CNY... AND at least I can perform (:

Tmr's VCH site recce... hope all goes well.

*looks at a bug walk past my computer screen*
whatever...

Okay i am bored. nights!

Good closures are always great

Finally the hustle and bustle of christmas and new year celebrations are over! (: Thank you everyone again for giving me wonderful days of the year 2009!

GE chalet was a blast! It all started with the usual BBQ, which by the time Cass, my sis and I reached there, food has already started to be served (: So after we had our fill, cass n i went to get our overnight bikes just for fun... only to realise that we were going night cycling this year! SO exciting!!

Anyway, the journey started at around 12.30 am after all the warm ups and stretches, spliting the 30-strong army of excited cyclist into 3 groups of 10 for all safety reasons.
We started out from East Coast chalet, going towards the macdonald's side and all the way to the end, exited the safe cycling track and entered Forks road. From forks road, we continued to Mountbatten (kallang stadium area) and then to nicoll highway....

Here! on nicoll highway... see the flyer in the distance?! (:

Us passing by Singapore eye~

And to Esplanade where the floating wish balls are! So pretty!!! AND hazel and yuka thought the balls could light up on their own! hahaha

Us stopping at the kopitiam for a toilet/ food break- just opposite SMU

The road along ION! Destination reached!

Ekjun and Derek gaying at the entrance of orchard MRT outside ION -.-

After that, it's on to Newton circus, and a turn down to Little India, Bugis, Kallang, and back to East Coast again! And when we reached the safety of East Coast, everyone started chionging back to the chalet... which made everyone even more tired than we already are after 6 hours of cycling. Overall it was very energy draining. HM.. come to think of it, it's only because we kept stopping every few hundred kilometres because the group before us had some technical problems on their bikes, and my group can't overtake their group. YEA.... if not our butts won't hurt that much! Arrr but still, 团体精神比较重要!

Went to Macs with our bikes for our breakfast, WHILE waiting for time to pass to 9am to return our bikes. HAHA and we were ultra tired, sleepy and bored we started to alterat games into 1 UP and hahahaha etc etc, which made us all hyped up again. Anyway, after we returned the bikes, Cass, Yuka, Hazel and I went to hazel's house to have a good shower (chalet and public toilets sucks BIG time) and some sleep for body recuperation~

Everyone woke up and got ready, and by 6 plus, we went back to the chalet for catered dinner, which turned out to be not, because there were too little ppl, SO we went to eat at burger king.

Then when we returned, i taught hazel, yuka and cass how to play mahjong, and somehow, we started BBQ again, thanks to yiqing. Hehe... yiqing does the best BBQ~~~ By 12am, we were still BBQing... but hey, there weren't any other people around us so it doesn't matter! This time, we slept and left yesterday morning.

Then at 6pm, cass, my sis and I went to Julian's house to countdown for the year 2010! AND julian's house is huge too. With a mini cinema which is easily 3 times that the size of Weishan's mini cinema. rrrrrrrrright... And everyone just karaoked/watched movies and highed till this morning... Then after breakfast, we left for home!

Now's the new year, my 1st new year resolution is to clear my table! (: hehehehe

looking forward to 405 class chalet on the 11th at Downtown East!